How to Teach Your Kids To Be Thankful
I’ll be honest. When I sat down to write this post, I wasn’t really sure where to begin. As we enter into this beautiful season of thankfulness, I struggle as a mom to teach my own kids how to be thankful on a regular basis.
I’d like to report that all four of my children (from toddlers through mid-elementary age) are bursting with gratitude and thankfulness on the daily with absolutely no complaining…ever. Or perhaps that I could give you a glimpse into our evening family dinner time when each of my children happily eat what is put before them with a humble, “Thanks mom for making such a wonderful meal for us!”
I wish I could; but that would be hundreds of kid-whining miles from the truth.
What I can say, is that as a family we are learning daily that thankfulness is a choice. It is a response of our heart’s attitude. It is a conscious effort to be thankful regardless of how well things may be going or how we may be feeling.
Despite how challenging it may feel to teach your children how to be thankful, God reveals to us many different ways to bear the fruit of thankfulness through the Bible. (Gal. 5:22)
My hope for you at the end of this post is not that your children will always be thankful at every turn in life, but that you can use this as a springboard to cultivate a true atmosphere of thankfulness and gratitude within your home.
Teach Them About Sacrifice
Sacrifice is one of the most significant ways that an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness is born naturally. When we know that someone chooses to sacrifice something for us when they didn't have to, we begin to understand the thankfulness we feel for that person. They begin to see just how important and meaningful sacrifice is.
The most important sacrifice, of course, is what Christ did for us on the cross. (Romans 5:8)
Helping your children understand the depth of His love for us and how undeserved we are of His grace, is setting the pulse of thankfulness for every other type of sacrifice they will experience in their lives.
When they understand Christ’s sacrifice for them, they will begin to see how others are also making sacrifices for them on a daily basis: when parents work hard at their jobs to provide everything they need, when mom cooks and cleans so they have a home to live in and nutritious food to eat, when their sibling offers to do their chores to help out or when a friend at school chooses to sit with the new student in the lunchroom instead of sitting with their own friends.
Pointing out these specific places of sacrifice will help them think about how they might feel thankful in those situations.
Teach Them To Be Generous
One of the best ways I’ve seen thankfulness cultivated in our home is helping our kids be generous. There are so many ways that Jesus was generous! While money is usually the first thing that comes to mind when we think about generosity, there are many ways that we can be generous to others. When we choose to be generous, it begins to stir an attitude of gratitude in our hearts for what we have and how others have been generous to us.
1. Teach them to be generous with their time.
Often times we get sucked up in this fast-paced culture, focusing only on the things that we want or need. And even though children may not be focusing on the same things as us parents, you better believe that they are still much more focused on themselves than others.
Jesus was incredibly relational! He spent so much time with people. (Matthew 15:29-31) He could have busied himself with doing all kinds of religious rituals, but instead he would sit for hours, even days, preaching and teaching. I cannot imagine how special I would have felt knowing that Jesus chose to make space in his ministry for people like me. We can help our kids make space in their lives using their time to invest in the lives of others such as their siblings, their friends, their grandparents or an elderly neighbor.
When our kids know how to establish relationships with others they will value people so much more and will help them develop an attitude of thankfulness in their own lives.
2. Teach them to be generous with their possessions.
For children especially, toys are everything. And there is nothing wrong with having toys or enjoying them. But when possessions become more important than people, it can begin to snuff out genuine thankfulness for what they have.
The rich, young ruler is the perfect example from the Bible! While I believe He genuinely loved God, when Jesus asked him to give it all up…he couldn’t. (Mark 10:20-22)
His possessions were more important and it broke him. Ultimately, he chose his possessions over his love for God. We can help our kids learn the balance between enjoying their toys but not making toys their identity. When they can choose to give away their toy for someone else or let their friend pick the first toy to play with on a playdate, they understand that people are more valuable than possessions and are more thankful for what they have.
3. Teach them to be generous with their money.
I know this seems like a no-brainer, but we can help our children choose thankfulness when we show them how to be generous with their money. (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)
Money can feel intimidating to teach your kids about when they don’t have jobs or bills. But I would say that this is the perfect time to start! Whether it’s allowance, birthday money or Christmas money, begin to teach them that God provided this money and is entrusting it to them. When they think about how they’d like to spend it, provide opportunities for them to see how they can use their money to give back to God and to bless someone else. Helping them see money as a path to greater opportunities to serve others can naturally give way to thankfulness. We can help establish a heart of gratitude and a vision of generosity at a young age that will serve them the rest of their life.
Help Them Find Joy, Not Happiness
One of the things I’ve noticed as I’ve been raising my crew, is that most often one child or all of them are not happy. Someone didn’t get the right snack, someone wants a new toy, someone didn’t get to watch the show they wanted to watch…and on and on it goes. And if you’re like me, you’ve spent countless hours trying to stop the whining.
In our culture, especially today, instant gratification and happiness is what it’s all about. You must find a way to get what you want right now. But that’s not what God teaches. (1 Timothy 6:6-8)
Over and over again we see in the Bible so many different times when God is creating beauty and joy through contentment or even suffering. The Bible doesn’t preach happiness, instead anytime someone finds joy from God it is because their circumstances have changed but their perspective hasn’t. (1 Peter 1:6-7)
Happiness is fleeting while joy is lasting. Helping your children be content and seek joy, rather than happiness, will produce a thankful heart. True thankfulness isn’t always being happy but it is finding the source of joy in that moment. We are less selfish and more willing to leave behind what we really want in order to compromise or help someone else. And when our kids practice doing that, they will find joy and thankfulness regardless if they are getting what they want.
See also: How to Be Thankful
A Thankful Heart
By now, I’m sure you've started brainstorming all sorts of new ways to encourage your children as you enter into this season of thankfulness. While we know true thankfulness is ongoing all year long, this might be the perfect time to refocus on helping your kids choose a thankful heart.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”
Colossians 3:16
How to Teach Your Kids To Be Thankful