How to Live When Life Wrecks Your Expectations
What did you want to be when you grew up?
We all dreamed of being something; perhaps we even made plans for ourselves based on those dreams. Some kids dream of being a doctor, a firefighter, or an astronaut. Me? Aside from that stint where I thought I might be a famous musician (HA) or a big time pro basketball star (bigger HA), I always wanted to be a mom. I literally dreamed about motherhood. I made plans for my life based on this long-term goal (if you could call it that). And, along with those dreams and plans came a level of expectation. We all hope for and expect certain things out of life. We hope for a Godly spouse. For a nice home.We expect to have beautiful, healthy kids. But, what happens when life literally rips your expectations from your grasp? What happens when the reality you thought would be, no longer is?
My story looks a lot like this.
Life, to this point, was pretty much what I expected (except for a few extra marital spats, and a little more motherhood chaos than I could prepare for). Life was good. A husband. A home. Beautiful, healthy babies. Just like I had planned. See also: When Christian Motherhood Becomes An Idol But then, the unthinkable happened - something you could never plan for - and life as we knew it was changed.
In an instant...
That sunny March evening is burned into my heart in a way I could never forget. My phone rang, with a frantic voice on the other end. Questions were raised. And, as I made the five minute drive home from the local general store to where my baby was, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around something being really wrong with my seemingly healthy 3 month old. BUT, something WAS really wrong. That night was the night of my daughter’s first seizure. It’s just one of many horrific nights that haunt my memory. A series of seizures followed, ambulance rides, life-flight helicopters, CPR attempts, and hospital stays. Our daughter, Avery, soon was given the diagnosis of a “severe & catastrophic” form of epilepsy called Dravet Syndrome. This diagnosis came with a pretty grim outlook. We weren’t aware of it at the time, but that night in March would be the beginning of a long journey we had never expected. Our lives would be changed forever.
Embracing
John Piper is quoted saying, “Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.” Friend, there has been A LOT of weeping in my life over this brief journey. And, as he says, I have often grieved what I thought would be. This is not the life I had planned for. Maybe you can relate on some level? Perhaps your life is nothing like you had planned. Maybe you find yourself a single parent - on a road you never even dreamed of. Or perhaps your plan to have children has not come about. Maybe, like me, you are dealing with an unexpected illness in your family that is leaving life as you know it hanging in the balance... The question becomes, now what? How do we keep living life, when it’s not the life we had hoped for? My answer to every question these days seems to be one simple yet profound word, Jesus. You see, we often overlook this important truth found in Scripture because maybe if we overlook it we can escape it. Wishful thinking I suppose. John 16: 33 tells us, “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” We expect a perfect experience, but we live in a broken world where perfection cannot be attained.
Romans 5:2 says, “Through Him (Jesus) we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”
See also: 19 Beautiful Bible Verses About Motherhood Jesus and His perfect sacrifice are truly our only Hope.
My advice to you (and to myself) when life wrecks your expectations:
- Release your expectations and adjust accordingly.
- Choose to see beauty in even the hardest days and allow others to see it too.
- Look to Jesus above all else as your source of hope, for this life is only a brief broken part of our eternal journey.
When we make a choice to do these three things on a daily basis, sometimes moment by moment, we can continue to live, even when it’s not the life we wanted. And through it all, God works in us if we only allow Him. Will you make the choice today, amidst your mess, your heartache, and your confusion to let God work in your unexpected life?
About the Author:
Sarah Lango is a momma of 3, wife, writer, speaker, Jesus follower, and coffee lover from small town Missouri. She is the founder of Gracefilled Growth, where she writes about her faith, marriage, motherhood journey, and her new experience of being a “sick kids” mom. Her passion is to inspire others to live authentic lives, learning together, and embracing the grace that God so lovingly offers. You can read more of Sarah’s writing at www.gracefilledgrowth.com.
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