How to Have a Thriving Marriage While Caring for a Baby

Having a baby is such an incredible experience to share with your spouse. You see each other in a new and different light. It’s also a time when you see everything. Nothing is held back. You see good, the bad, and the ugly in each other. Sleep deprivation, teething, and conversations about baby poop can make marriage a little bit . . .  different and challenging. I have comprised a list of four ways on how to have a thriving marriage while caring for a baby. 

How to Have a Thriving Marriage While Caring for a Baby#1 - Put God first

This is the only way to keep your marriage thriving. Period. When you don’t rely on God, you become weary, which rubs off on your home, your baby, and your marriage. When you wake up in the morning (even if you only got a solid 30 minutes of sleep), seek His face. Verbally say, “God I give you my day.”  Read a marriage/motherhood devotional, read one verse, or listen to the bible on audio while you nurse. Sing praises to God while you change diapers. It’s not about what you do, but about your heart. Have confidence in knowing that Jesus looks at your heart. He sees you struggling and trying to meet with Him, and He understands. Worship Him and give your baby and your husband a holy example. Surround your day with Jesus, and it will greatly impact your patience and joy as a mother and a wife.[bctt tweet="Surround your day with Jesus, and it will greatly impact your patience and joy as a mother and a wife." username="christcentermom"] 

But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your protection over them, that all who love Your name may be filled with joy. For You bless the godly, O Lord; you surround them with Your shield of love (Psalm 5:11-12).

See also: 7 Practical Tips to Teach Your Children the Bible from Deuteronomy 6:5-9   

How to Have a Thriving Marriage While Caring for a Baby#2 - Make sure your husband comes before your baby

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but it is truth. Your baby may need more attention and nurturing, but your husband still needs to come second (God is first). When you said your vows to your husband, you didn’t say “till death do us part . . . or until we have a baby.” Your marriage didn’t end when you had a baby. It changed into something different, but beautiful.  

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate .(Matthew 19:6)

You and your husband are one. God joined you together to be a team, and nobody should ever separate that companionship. Your responsibility to your marriage comes first, so that together, you can impact your baby as he/she grows.  How your children view your marriage, is how they will view marriage as a whole. Ouch. Your marriage is valuable, and your family will be broken without a solid marriage. Your foundation starts with Christ, which effects your marriage, and ultimately effects your family.

For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.(1 Corinthians 7:14).

 See also: When Christian Motherhood Becomes An Idol  

How to Have a Thriving Marriage While Caring for a Baby#3 - Don’t burden your husband

Don’t overwhelm your husband with all the responsibilities as soon as he gets home from work. I get it, babies are work. You can feel so sleep deprived and experience such a lack of patience that you say things you don’t mean. As soon as he comes through the door you just want to hand him the baby and run away. Seriously, I get it. Something that I have learned that has positively impacted our marriage is to give my husband a break. I try to have dinner ready, so we eat as a family as soon as he gets home. Then, he either watches a show or plays a video game to help unwind from a stressful day at work. After that, we talk, play with our baby, or I may use this time to get things done . . . and hopefully take a hot, steamy shower. Give each other little breaks. We all crave alone time sometimes, and that is a need that helps us to recharge and take care of ourselves, so that we can take care of others better.See also: Self-Care for Christian Moms – Smart or Selfish?Remember, even though you may be with the baby 24/7, the baby’s food source (if nursing), and desperately needing sleep, you still have an obligation as a wife. So don’t burden your husband with everything, but rather work together and find what works for your family, so that you all live in harmony. 

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which bind us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful .(Colossians 3:14-15)

 See also: 9 Lies Satan Whispers To You About Your Motherhood  

How to Have a Thriving Marriage While Caring for a Baby#4 - Make intimacy a priority

I’m not even just talking physical love. I’m talking intimacy. Talking one-on-one, cuddling, and just being with each other. This is something that we accomplish after our baby goes to bed. These are the moments to get creative. Watch an intriguing show together, take a shower together, or simply cuddle and have a deep, much needed adult conversation. Even if it’s just five minutes before the baby starts crying, it’s worth it. Make time to go out WITHOUT your baby. Whether it be once a week or once a month, make time for each other. Find someone you trust, like a grandparent, and take some time to go out on a date. Our time alone is sometimes going to the grocery store together, without the baby, and it is sadly a wonderful experience. I know, we are lame, but hey, whatever works! ☺ About once a month we will go out to dinner and/or see a movie (not something you can do with a baby), and it helps us to reconnect. Dating is extremely important when trying to keep the fire in your marriage. It enhances the friendship part of marriage, and it’s fun! It is important to spend quality time all together as a family, but also important to spend time with just your husband.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken .(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

 See also: 8 Lies Satan Whispers To You About Your Marriage  

What about you?

Did you find it was difficult for you to thrive in your marriage when you had a baby? Would you add any tips to this list on how to have a thriving marriage while caring for a baby? 

About the Author

Bio: Leah is a passionate follower of Jesus, wife to her best friend, momma to her sweet baby boy, and blogger. She created She Writes Light to encourage girls to walk in light.Check her out at facebook.com/shewriteslight   *If you purchase a book from these recommendations (or purchase anything using the search bar), Christ-Centered Mama might receive a small commission from your purchase that will not affect your cost. Thanks for your support!*