To The Uncool Moms Like Me
I had to fill out a form out recently where I was trying out for an interview spot on a podcast. They asked me to describe my personality and I'm not sure what I managed to type, but the first thing I thought was: “I'm deeply committed to my faith but I am so completely awkward and uncool about it. I'm so happy to be a mom but I'm certainly not one of the 'cool' moms. I try to join the conversations that are happening with those moms, the ones who are tanned and thin and have actually curled their hair this morning... and I don't. But I manage. I'm usually ok without being a cool mom.”I think I ended up typing something more vanilla.But I've been thinking about that.Should I have?
What's so bad about being socially awkward? About being uncool?
Perhaps my uncoolness just means that I haven't quite found my personality since I have pushed two children into this world. It means that I'm not quite sure where my feet landed and the person I thought I was is still there, but when she tries to speak, what comes out is a little squawk and a laugh that sounds like I have emphysema.Here in Kansas that means that I'm wearing braided suede Birkenstock knock-offs when the cool moms are wearing expensive genuine leather cowboy boots.It means that I haven't lost all the baby weight as of yet, thankyouverymuch.And it means that when I try to fit in and talk about the things normal humans talk about, I can't sort out the words in a sensible manner in my brain. It's like on the way to my mouth, they get all jumbled up.(This happened before I had kids, too, but I had more brain capacity then and it was easier to at least cover my tracks or make a joke to acknowledge it, fix it, and move on and not let it ruin my whole day. It also would have happened maybe on ONE of the many conversations I would have that day. But now as a mom, I get 1 or 2 adult conversations a day, so the chances of messing up that conversation are rather high.)Maybe you don't have trouble with your words, but you, like me, do have comparison-itus. Where you feel that you can't compare to the moms around you and you feel that you'll never quite measure up.
Do you feel like this too?
Perhaps you wonder if you'll ever make any true friends again.Maybe you feel like you've lost your sense of humor.Or maybe you feel that you aren't quite sure where your voice is in a house full of everyone else's (LOUD) competing voices.If you feel socially awkward when you finally step out of the house and have adult interaction, you might be stuck in your own thoughts; stuck in your head... too worried about your head to let your heart speak and make genuine connections.And if you're stuck in your head, you might benefit from having a conversation with your Heavenly Father about your fears, your doubts, and your conceived social inadequacies.I'm still in my journey with these same fears, but I'm wondering if that same conversation that I can remind myself to have with God can be had with some of my church family.Something about the emotional awkward aspect of my life makes me question so many things. See also: Tips to Make Genuine Mom Friends
But for you and for me, these things are true.
Your worth isn't in the way that words come out of your mouth.Your worth isn't in how clean your car or minivan happens to be at any given moment.And it isn't in how much money you have to throw around at your kids. Or how ever many activities they are involved in.To the one who feels like the odd mama out... the one who can't seem to dedicate time to her social calendar in order to practice the normal conversational and other social habits of adult conversation: God has a place and purpose for your awkward.You can still glorify Christ when you feel out of place.In fact, maybe that's the cure. Maybe God made you with strengths to bring Him glory and weaknesses to bring you to the Throne Room in humility.[bctt tweet="God made you with strengths to bring Him glory and weaknesses to bring you to the Throne Room in humility." username="christcentermom"]Your worth is in Christ, your soul CAN in fact be completely satisfied in your Redeemer.Trust in Him. When we trust in Him, He points us to our true worth through humility or through gentle humility-building.Trust Him through the awkward. Give Him the awkward in prayer. It's for His glory.
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”Psalm 20:7
What about you?
Do you also have comparison-itus that makes you mess up adult conversations?Do you wear cowboy boots? If so, is that a cool thing to do in your social circles? ;)
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