Mothering from the Pit of Depression

I lost my 4-year-old son during the summer of 2013. It propelled me into a darkness that I could never have imagined. My life was forever changed, and I was introduced to depression that I still fight against. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed; I’m too weak and too tired to greet the sunrise with any enthusiasm.

Now, there are four other tiny humans dependent on me for survival, so I get out of bed anyway and go to the only place I have been able to find the strength to face the torment of each passing day.

If we look in the book of Joshua, it seems clear:

“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged”...

Joshua 1:9

God has commanded us to live with courage and strength. Not as an option, or if we can possibly drink enough coffee for the day, but as a direct order. But how am I supposed to be strong when I’m too weak to even fold the laundry. How can I be courageous when my thoughts alone are enough to make me lock all of the doors and never leave the house?

If we read just a little further in the verse, God has given us our answer:

...“for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

The Lord your God is with you.

Our strength does not come from anything inside of ourselves. It is not something we can muster up on our own accord. It is not anything we can find through any amount of time that passes. We can't achieve it through any self help book or control we implement in our lives.

Trust me beloved, I have tried.

It is only when we turn to the Lord with our shattered pieces and our weakest selves that will we find the strength to live through the darkness and face the battle of each day. Our strength and courage only come from walking alongside God every moment. How do we practically implement that in our lives when the Lord feels as if He’s on the other side of the universe?

Joshua 1:7-8 gives us insight.

“Above all, be strong and very courageous to observe carefully the whole instruction my servant Moses commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right or the left, so that you will have success wherever you go. This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to meditate on it day and night so that you may carefully observe everything written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do.”

Joshua 1:7-8

Observe carefully; do not turn from it; must not depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night; carefully observe everything written.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”

Psalm 119:105

The Light helps us see clearly.

God’s word is the light, digging into and meditating on it daily is our only option. We have to make our time with the Lord a priority if we hope to find the strength to get through the day. Even in the midst of the chaos of our children, bills, sickness and life we must purposefully carve out time to allow the Lord to speak to us. We can’t just read and then put the Bible on our shelf forgetting about it until the next morning. We need to carefully ponder over the Word, bringing it into our thoughts throughout the day and applying it to our mundane.

See also: 3 Habits of Successful Stay-at-Home Moms

Even from the beginning in Genesis 1:2-4 we see on clear display the power of the word of God separating light and darkness.

In John 1:5 it says

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

John 1:5

Mothering from the pit of depression, loss, or anxiety is difficult. Challenging. All-encompassing. But with Christ, we have strength and we have light.

God promises that if we abide in The Light we will not be destroyed by the darkness.

Heather Robare

No our courage doesn’t come from anything in ourselves. The only way to live, despite the darkness threatening to consume you, is to firmly stand in the midst of The Light.

This post brought to you by: The Dwell Journal

The Dwell Journal was designed by a mom going through the pit of depression. If you’re not sure where to start studying the Bible, or are struggling with being consistent in God’s Word, try this 12-week guided Bible study journal to help you get on a fulfilling and exciting path in your quiet time with the Lord. Through dwelling on God’s word, you’ll be rooted and established in Christ. Each week focuses on a different topic; areas that will convict you and encourage you to apply what you have learned as the Holy Spirit lives and moves through you to accomplish His work.

Inside this journal you’ll find a place to:

• Write Bible verses for deeper reflection and internalization
• Record what you learn as you study God’s Word
• Reflect on ways to apply what you’ve read
• Record things you are thankful for
• Keep track of prayer requests and answered prayers

Dwelling in God’s word is exciting and enriching. Let’s dive into the Father’s love letter and see how it impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.

Get connected!

Thanks for reading this post: Mothering from the Pit of Depression by contributing writer Heather Robare.

We want you to join the Christ-Centered Mamas Facebook group! Come and ask questions and be encouraged by other Christian moms. It was mainly this group that sourced the ideas for the Dwell Journal, so it’s a valuable and beautiful community to me, and to the other moms in the group!

We want you to join the Christ-Centered Mamas Facebook group! Come and ask questions and be encouraged by other Christian moms.